so we went to brenners yesterday. and she panicked. so did i.
the scars. they are so big.
and i know that sounds so vain. but i couldn’t help at some point to really feel sorry for us.
and i know that sounds so petty. but it’s truth. i am human. we all are.
and i remember at some point questioning God in this journey. i thought yesterday was going to be a breeze, go in and get a new cast. start the count down to two weeks. but instead, my little girl got scared. she really panicked at the sight of her leg & foot.
my mom told me it is harder on us, because we know the fears.
i don’t want people asking a million questions but yet i blog about it.
not sure why i blog at all. it’s my story, i am a very private person, but then again, i feel like i might be helping a mom out there that has the same fears. that can relate. someone might be in this very same boat.
so here i am.
and then at some point yesterday she wanted the cast back on. laying on that little doctors table, tears rolling down her face, begging for the cast to be put back on.
and i couldn’t help but think it is a crutch. it makes her feel better. it covers it all up.
and isn’t that life in general.
if it’s not beautiful, we cover it up.
it it’s not perfect, we judge it.
it it’s not pretty, we deny it.
so we have some PRETTY awesome scars we will be rockin’ out in two weeks.
and she is still beautiful.
and in my questioning God yesterday, i heard him tap on my shoulder and say…trust me.
trust this process. trust the journey.
and so i will be talking to whitley about being different. and about being a strong girl.
i looked at my mom yesterday, thankful she has been with us at every appointment, and said, i know this has a light at the end of the tunnel. i don’t see it, i don’t understand it. we were supposed to be done already, moving on. but this is still dragging. in two weeks whitley will be wearing an AFO. they can’t tell me for how long. but i know this, i’m leaning in.
it’s funny, this thing called life. i wanted to blog last night, had some site issues, called godaddy today and it was all fixed.
what i blogged last night would have been probably a whole lot different than what i am writing right now.
i slept on it. i prayed about it. and i trust it.
so my life philosophy right now is this: BE DIFFERENT. it’s okay.
that’s the best advice my mom ever gave me.
and if you know me & whitley pearl…this journey was made for us.
and it’s her story…and it’s just getting started!
here’s to a new day, leaning in, and trusting.
happy thursday ya’ll!