{ what you shall do }

tomorrow, you go in for surgery. hopefully your last, but still, this is what you shall do.
i’ll never forget the day we had you, we had expected them to take you off to see about what they had seen on screen during an ultrasound.
they had thought something may be wrong with your kidneys then once or twice they thought they saw a spot that needed to be viewed via ultrasound. nothing serious…but still, they were going to check it out…and then you came into this world with the sweetest foot i had ever seen. not expecting it, a complete suprise.
but a beautiful suprise, nonetheless.

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but i didn’t see a club foot. i saw my sweet little girl.
i now understand the beauty of not having those tests run during pregnancy that tell you whether your baby has downs syndrome, etc.
because had i known, i wouldn’t love you any less.
we had 3D ultrasounds and many extra ultrasounds trying to figure out those other spots..all the while you had that sweet club foot.

and i hope the world see’s you that way too.
that smile, those dimples.
a sweet spirited little girl.
and show them the miracle of your feet.
because believing in this process & dr. frino & his team at brenners…
believing in the Lord to answer our prayers…
knowing that you are strong enough for this, sometimes more than us…
has brought forth a little girl who dares to be different.
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look how far you have come.
willie, this hurts me more than it does you.
the hardest thing ever is seeing your children go thru something hard.
but sometimes we have to do hard things…so this is what you shall do…
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i love you more than you will ever know.
and tomorrow, you get a ‘new foot’ with new muscles, new tendons & a longer heel cord.
and there is no end to what you shall do…
your very flesh shall be a great poem.
xo
-momma

{ life happens }

IMG_4969so i’ve meant to blog a thousand times. literally.
it takes a lot of time.

life happens.

a friend texted me that the other night. i was upset about a comment that was made about something on friday night, i was frustrated.
and she texted me that. that life happens. those people will get over it.
and i shouldn’t have to apologize. i really shouldn’t.

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and speaking of life happens. whitley pearl goes in for her surgery this upcoming thursday. wow, three weeks with no cast sure did fly by.
and i just pray that these last six weeks fly by too. when i say she’s a tough cookie, she really is. she’s stronger than me…
*and if you have questions about the last three weeks without the cast, the process just didn’t work so what they were trying to fix with the cast, will just now be fixed in the surgery…

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on the homefront, i painted the coop door bright red today & the steps a glossy black. LB said he was expecting polka dots & glitter.
i might just work on that next week! 😉

and in other exciting news, we had five baby chicks…all rhode island red girls. come home last week to two.
what the heck happened to three chicks. mother nature, cats? a snake? like they literally disappeared. gone.
so we have snookie & molly.

and then a funny story is i “rescued” three girls a month or so ago from a local garden supply store…not really rescued but it was a super hot day and they were in that tiny cage and they had furry legs. so cute. and i was promised that they all three were girls. but not so much. each week we kept thinking they are roosters when today, LB told me Barbie was really Ken. And Cutie really is Rico Suave.
And Hazel really should be named more like Basil or Maple. seriously, these chickens & the drama.

and tripp, sweet tripper. school is in full swing, baseball games. fall ball. getting big. likes girls. makes my heart hurt. but in a good way. he’s just getting so big so fast. he’s my boy. my sweet soul.

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i find myself alot of days just trying to soak all of this life in. like a sponge.

and then theres the matters of my heart if i am being honest. my heart has been having a battle. a battle of time. of priorities.
instagram, i do love it. candy crush, seriously addicting. i dont even bother with facebook but i do wonder. how to people do twitter, facebook, tumblr. when i do two things. candy crush & instagram and have to really talk myself out of those lots of time.
its a battle. and i think, what in the world. so daily, i have been trying to spend less time logging my pictures, taking time to just be present & just be. sometimes i battle capturing those moments & at peace just taking it all in my memory. and i think…my parents, my in-laws…they all did just fine and never had what we have available. so i’m trying to let go…

and in life, i’ve been praying a lot for direction. what my purpose is. i wish i could blog and say all is perfect and well, but sometimes it’s not. and that is okay too. it just means i’m in between where i need to be…somedays i battle should i be homeschooling and i know that answer, but i still question it. sometimes i’m not sure where we need to be in church. i get angry. because sometimes i just want the easy way. just like with weight loss. it’s slowly coming off. but it’s still a matter of my heart. so i’m just in this season of life. it’s weird but i’m seriously trying to embrace it. be okay with it.

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i’m just a small town girl, trying to be a mom, balance it all, and i have disappearing chickens.
really, life happens.
xoxo…until next time.
-heather

{ better late than never }

dear willie,
tomorrow you get your first cast. it is a 10 week process.
your heel cord is tight in your left foot.

that sweet little club foot. that stubborn little foot.
its funny that your foot is as stubborn as you are.

but thankfully, you have an amazing doctor.
so tomorrow we start the process again trying to make it right.
much of life is spent trying to make things right.

but we pray, we believe & just know that God has a greater plan than me, you or your daddy knows about.
so we just have to believe that this is the right thing for you right now.

i am having a much harder time than you with this. today i had to cancel your dance classes we had signed up for.
today i got mad. mad at the timing, mad at the process.
a really stupid mad because in the big scheme of things, it could be so much worse.
so i had a pity party and got over it. it is what it is. and i’m thankful that it is all that it is.

but you, you just rock on.
i think i’m so consumed because i believed we were done.
and too, because no one ever wants to see their child have to go thru this. and i can’t fix it.

i remember the day you were born, i wondered if you would ever walk. little faith i had.
and you have amazed me thru all of this.
those sweet feet are a testament. not so much of medical advances…but in the way things go
if you follow a plan.

the day you were born with a left club foot, i will never forget how proud i was, because you were mine.
and i promised that i would never let it define you.

somedays i want to hide it because i don’t want the questions. but why hide it.
God made you this way. and it doesn’t define you. yes, it makes you a little different.
but thats okay. be different.
you have a story.
p.s. i should have taken these birthday pictures six months ago.

i guess it’s better late than never…
here’s to rocking a cast like nobody’s business.
here’s to embracing life.
here’s to 10 weeks.
let’s do this.
i love you so.
xoxo
-momma

{ about me }

hey you. i was actually tagged by two beautiful ladies { thanks bianca hammond & amber cox } on instagram to tell 20 random things about myself.
thought it would be a fun blog post…
so here goes.
1. i love being a momma with my whole heart. it is my life. it gives me purpose & meaning. those two kids are my everything.
2. i battle my ‘creative mind’ daily. i lie awake at night just trying to process my thoughts & sometimes i wish it to go away. i could never do all that flows thru my mind and that alone drives me nuts. i want to be everything to everybody type of girl.
3. i am a firstborn. which means i am a people pleaser.
4. my mom is my best friend, but i have a whole group of girls that are the best. i truly think everybody should have a core group of girlfriends: (read this <--- click this) 5. i started this blog to blog about chickens but have yet to. 6. i love cobalt blue. seriously. 7. i'm a nc girl. i love my state fiercely. i even would love to get a job someday doing something regarding my state....think traveling, food & wine. 8. i love to read. i read every night & seriously am thinking of starting a bookclub. if you are interested, leave your email in the comments & let's talk about it. 9. good thrift stores & flea markets speak my language. i believe in giving some of that junk a second home. i seriously love the imperfect, in life & in my home decor. 10. i am a stay at home mom, but also a self-taught graphic designer. i never intended in starting a little side business, but so grateful for a hobby that i love. 11. i would be a full time photographer if i didn't ever have to edit. it's a passion, but i battle the boredom that comes with the process. 12. and the last part of that is so true for me, i get bored easily. in life, in general. i like to shake things up, change it up. always looking for the opportunity for change & adventure. 13. i have 6 chickens, a gecko lizard, one dog & two cats. but we have a new kitten on the way & my husband wants to get some pigs. 14. i worked in a job that i loved so much for 10 years, but walked away from leading me to stay at home. its complicated and i plan on blogging about that soon. its a touchy subject for me and somethings need to be said. my dad says it was the biggest blessing and it truly has been. but i loved that company with my whole heart & still have a lot of resentment. 15. my little girl, whitley pearl was born with the two most beautiful feet ever. her left one was a club foot and i am so in love with that part of my life because it taught me so much about life & love. more to come on this too. 16. i battle my weight everyday. like some people want kids or to be married so badly, i want to be thin(ner) so badly. i am on a journey, and i would not be authentic if i didn't truthfully say that this is a part of who i am. 17. i love fashion. i just do, and i make no apologies for it. you love tj maxx? me too. me too. 18. i am messy. my house is clean...except for my workspace & my basement. and the mess in my bonus room doesn't bother me because we live here. sorry, it's just how God wired me. i call it creative chaos. 19. i am married to my high school sweetheart. we have been together 11 years married & too long to remember to tell you how long we dated. ha! fun times. gosh, that makes me feel old. 20. i love music. all kinds. it is a HUGE part of my life. and an extra one for good measure... 21. i am a happy girl. except i wish i was skinnnier. xoxo -heather

{ summa time }

SERIOUSLY. i love this song.

go to www.fortfrancesmusic.com and get the free download!

headed to the beach this weekend. can’t wait.

i should also tell you that i am not looking forward to tripp going back to school.
i’m not sure how i ended up with an upcoming third grader.
last night, he looked up at me and asked me who will tuck him in when he goes to college.
i will sweet boy, i will. {not really, but why break his heart.}

and if you don’t know about the brave girls club, you should.

go to www.bravegirlsclub.com and sign up for these daily emails!

until next time…
xoxo